Blog by Copernicus Thunderbird I dream of world peace. I dream of an end to war and disease. I dream of equal rights for everyone, and no more persecution based on race or politics or religion. I dream of a world where the poor are rich, and the rich are...

Column by Mike Lamb The following is a transcript from the weekly radio talk show American Heroes, hosted by Jonathan Gaylord. It has been edited for content by the FCC.JG: Joining me today is Mickey Wolf of the DEA. Thanks for being on the show, Mr. Wolf...

Column by Casey Freeman I stopped paying attention to the upcoming election nonsense my country is currently puking onto the world. I guess I just grew tired of listening to a bunch of people try to prove they're the least sleazy liar with a bunch of mone...

Article by Edyn Fountainhead Women, stop what you're doing now and take a moment to get in tune with your body. Do you feel it? Are your ovaries quivering? Look all around, look to the horizon. The rapeocalypse is upon us, and I haven't bee...

Column by Yaro Shepherd Last weekend, Marvel's The Avengers opened in millions of theaters worldwide to the frenzy of comic-nerds and explosion-lovers all over. It will probably go on to break a bunch of box office records. Also last week, Rick Ross hoste...

Article by B Walsh On the eve of being my younger cousin's confirmation sponsor, I got to thinking about the best ways to celebrate for the young chap. I was unimpressed by the prospect of purchasing a "gift" for him, like some sh...

Article by Keke DeVille We thought death was the end.... It was only the beginning....The Mayans said "You shall be fucked four times before the end approaches." Mayan Book..- - - . .-. -... ..- .-.. .-.. ... .... .. -We are on ou...

Blog by Gavin Pitt Who needs a bunch of Mayan book-keepers who've been dead for 5000 years, or Harold Camping (the Californian wingnut preacher who has been *brain*dead for 5000 years) telling us when the world's going to end? And what makes them think i...

Column by Codie Leiker If you're like me, then you probably spent most of your life prior to 1999 racing wagons down the hill of a busy street, only to be actually pulled over by a police officer and tremble in fear as you wondered how fast you were reall...

Column by Jeff Gassen The first person to figure out who this letter was supposed to be sent to (before I intercepted it) and post the answer in the comments section gets a long overdue PG-13 SFW version of my GED senior pictures. 10/6/2067 My dearest MB,...

Column by Mike Lamb Hi there. My name is Brent Vanguard and I'd like to talk to you about safety. Do you think you're safe? You probably do. And you know what? You're probably wrong.Take a look at yourself in the mirror. Do you like your body? Do you like...

Blog by Julian Asange When the rape apocalypse comes, you will know. You will not need an article to tell you its signs. But I like writing about rape. A lot. And the rapeocalypse is the moment I have been waiting my whole life for because it combines the...

Article by Alex Kummert I feel like I'm at a point in my life where I'm not allowed to complain about the youth these days. As a 19-year-old, I remember being one of those kids who made questionable style choices and used vocabulary that fe...

Article by James Boulstridge Jesus sighed as he gingerly removed the sweat-stained Agassi headband that had been adorning his plaits the past three days of travelling across desert-weathered landscapes, replete with desolate, crumbling infr...

Blog by Copernicus Thunderbird I don't usually do contract freelance prophecies, but I suppose I could make an exception just this once. I've been led to believe there is free malt liquor and smack involved in exchange for my clairvoyant services. At leas...

Column by Andrei Trostel HAHA, silly mortals, there are no rules to a Rapeocalypse...but there will be prizes...oh yes, there will be prizes. I have it on the highest authority, from PIC's holiest of holes, Court Sullivan, that this is now an Official PIC...

Blog by Julian Asange I saw Eli Manning hosting SNL and I was just inspired to do something with my life, you know?I mean yea, I've got this thing, this WikiLeaks or whatever, and don't get me wrong, it pays the bills and it has succeeded far beyond how I...

Column by Mike Lamb Are you longing for sexy good time with hot lady? Are you grow tired of bad rejected because girls no like? Change your life, make full of happy! Learn becoming sex ninja in three easy steps! So simple, even for stupid will learn how t...

Article by James Boulstridge AlienThe film Alien set the benchmark for science fiction horror. Up to that point in cinema, aliens were all friendly, cuddly, wanting to make sweet love to you no matter what color your skin or the fact you on...

Column by Jeff Gassen Poets and lyricists of all types have long used the poetic license, or the ability to alter the traditionally accepted spelling or use of a word or words in the name of fluidity, or to more accurately represent the phonetics of idiom...

Blog by Copernicus Thunderbird I'm usually under investigation by the feds at any given time, though if I had to pin down a specific reason I'm not sure I could give you one. Apparently the government isn't too big on the civil rights of drug addicted con...

Article by Benny Daito I first started pondering the curious storytelling habits of the elderly while sitting at the dinner table amongst 12 other family members last Saturday night. The inspiration came from my Great Aunt Margaret, who is...

Column by Codie Leiker "Less alcohol, more water." I had written that on an index card when I was taking quick notes for my new and improved lifestyle. In passing, you might think of it as a Sunday reminder from a Saturday night bender, a night...

Article by Jerry Landry Logging on to Facebook is like tuning into Maury: the entertainment is horrible, and most of the people set themselves up nicely for ridicule. But somewhere in this sea of awful, there is something intangible about t...